new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So squirting runs in the family.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
