please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
