Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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