He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
