What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
