is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
