I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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