I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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