Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
