I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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