he wants to bone in the snuggie
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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