I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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