she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
