like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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