It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
