I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
