There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
