so explain again why im purple
no
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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