just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Alive.
So much puke
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
