you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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