I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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