OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize