kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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