If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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