dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
