Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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