so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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