I've blown a few things in my day
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
