I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he fucked my hip out of place.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
