Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
