hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We left the knife in your bed.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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