I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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