17 year olds will be the death of me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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