Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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