Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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