I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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