And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
