doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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