shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
