I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
