My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We have started to decorate penises.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
