too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize