I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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