google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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