She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
