yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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