Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
