The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
