under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
