Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
