Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
