Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
