i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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