i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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