I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
