Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
