I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
