This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
