Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
