I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
