i think my tv is drunk
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
