Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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